Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
