And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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