I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
