Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
