i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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