I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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