I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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