i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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