My balls are so social today.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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