I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
