"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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