I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
