so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
cat food counts as protein by the way
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
