I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
