there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
