The maid of honor just puked.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
