I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
