while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
