pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How's work?
Spinning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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