Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
