I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize