This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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