I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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