Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
