As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
