Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my poor anus
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
