Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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