i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
