I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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