If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've blown a few things in my day
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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