the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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