I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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