if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
