disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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