Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
