i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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