We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
