I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
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