Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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