yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
