I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
