I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
