My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
