..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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