I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
