If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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