so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize