Moan for me like Helen Keller
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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