Plan B is the new Plan A
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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