it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
