i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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