i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize