i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
