I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
