Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
