i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
